The Top 15 Worst Men in Azeroth (Part 2)

Here’s part two of the top 15 worst men in Azeroth. If you haven’t read part one yet, go here first.

                                                      BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

7. Daelin Proudmoore

RACISM! Daelin’s entry is gonna be pretty short compared to the last few because there’s not much to say. Even more racist than Genn, Daelin was always a bit of a hateful guy. When the Horde arrived, his psyche latched on to an easy hatred target. He decided that all Orcs forever and ever, even after the blood curse was broken, were soulless abominable evil.

Imagine his shock to find his daughter hanging out with Rexxar and other very chill dudes. Now we’ve all known people in real life who are bigoted and who we can get through to over time. Great! A big part of that typically involves family. After all, we love our parents, our children, our relatives. We try to hear them out and do better.

Not this guy! One of the worst fathers in Warcraft, Daelin tells his daughter to fuck off and starts killing Orcs. He then proceeded to take over Theramore as his own personal racism base in an increasingly changing world. He’s the funniest type of conservative in WoW: would rather die than even remotely examine his own beliefs and wrongdoings. Daelin Proudmoore picks a losing battle with Rexxar at Theramore and obviously gets giga killed.

He earns a high spot on this list not just because of how racist he is, but because his actions cost his men their lives, his kingdom is destabilized for years, and his memory haunts Kul Tiras for many years-in a bad way. When we get to BFA, a folk tale has been established about how Jaina betrayed him at Theramore and sealed his fate. It’s basically if “fake news” took such a hold that, decades later, an entire kingdom was operating a certain way because of one Tweet. Daelin’s actions held pretty severe consequences. It’s almost like a lot of the old human leaders were trash.

6. Jastor Gallywix

Speaking of people who betrayed their people for shit reasons, meet Trade Prince Gallywix. This guy fucking sucks. He’s a horrid fusion of Elon Musk, Oppenheimer, other faceless 1%ers, your least favorite person from high school, and that one guy from your first raid team who thought he was a god but died on every pull. Let’s start in Cata.

Gallywix is clearly already not a good dude when events start on Kezan. His status quo involved mid-stage exploitative capitalism with other Goblins going hungry while he rocked out on a yacht. When the Cataclysm started and Mount Kajaro erupted, his ticket to safety for Goblins included enslaving them, yes, enslaving his own people in the face of climate disaster. It gets worse!

Mans continues enslavement operations on a new landmass. No attempt to stabilize people, make landfall, etc., just gets right to indentured labor. When Goblin adventurer and Thrall beat his ass, he feigned a change of heart and vowed to run the cartel differently (sike).

                                           the GMOD, gallywix's bomb-throwing Tesla

Aside from continuing his gluttonous spending habits and hoarding of wealth, Gallywix was the last Horde leader to join the Darkspear Rebellion during Mists. His reason? Garrosh didn’t pay the cartel the right amount for digging up the heart of Y’shaarj. This man has NO MORALS!!! You think he was bad before BFA? Take this guy but with extreme WMD’s and the means to continue researching them.

Gallywix is the first person to realize what Azerite is, entering into a satanic pact with Sylvanas to keep researching its properties for her war-Gallywix literally just thought it would be fun and make him money. Throughout BFA, he remains absolutely bereft of morals, doing all kinds of heinous shit while continuing to throw nukes around whenever he feels like it. His exploitation of his own people, and other Horde races, continued until Saurfang’s duel with Sylvanas. Rather than face consequences, Gallywix fled. We’d later see him in Tazavesh (lol?) but yeah, this guy has zero redeeming qualities. Save me Gazlowe.

5. Fandral Staghelm

Rounding out our top 5 worst men is Fandral. Let’s start with his redeeming/sympathetic qualities. He loves his son, he lost his wife while she was giving birth, he once cared about the future of his people, he’s good at fighting. Done? Great.

FANDRAL HATES WOMEN! This man spends most of Vanilla spamming two voice lines: “Tyrande has no idea how to lead our people/I have vision that she lacks.” In the same way Xavius won’t shut up about Malfurion, Fandral wouldn’t shut up about Tyrande. It’s actually funny now that I realize how many dedicated haters Malfurion and Tyrande have. They would’ve loved being on the internet.

In addition to his lack of social consciousness, Fandral sucks at his job. Remember the corrupt world tree planted on top of fucking saronite in Grizzly Hills? Fandral. World Tree reaching so deep it makes contact with Yogg-Saron? Fandral. Causes inter-species war in Northrend? Fandral. Cause of the Old Gods’ ability to do the Emerald Nightmare? Fandral. Put Malfurion in a coma? Fandral. Plants a piece of Xavius on Teldrassil, dooming it forever? Fandral.

This guy is so easily manipulated that the same trick works on him multiple times. And he’s supposed to be a wise druid! I have more sympathy for when he actually got possessed by Xavius posing as his son, but he was entirely in control before then and did a bunch of dumb shit. Why would anyone plant a World Tree in saronite?

His later actions are less annoying: a corrupt green dragon takes him to Ragnaros where he resumes his goal of being #2 Malfurion+Tyrande hater (after Xavius), he breaks Thrall into elemental pieces, and helps Ragnaros try to burn down Nordrassil. Doesn’t work obviously, but just being a generic bad guy is much less annoying than the other stuff. He did a lot of his dumbest actions before his son died. So bad! Not a friend of nature!

4. Kairozdormu

For my FF14 players, I hate Kairoz for a lot of the same reasons I hate Hermes. “I am experiencing this negative emotion, therefore you all must experience it as well.” I have sympathy, I can’t imagine how tiring being a bronze dragon is, but my sympathy ends when you act as dumb as this guy.

Kairoz thought he was cooler than the Infinites. He had misgivings, doubts, qualms, etc., with how the bronze flight watched over the Timeways. But he couldn’t just be an Infinite, he decided he was a special snowflake. He’s an ~independent actor~ and we meet him at the Timeless Isle. He’s interested in possible futures related to Garrosh’s fate so naturally, we help him observe a bunch. Because nobody’s ever gone off the rails after learning the future before in WoW.

Kairoz eventually decides to work with a bunch of other ~independent actors~ to free Garrosh. That’s right, this man is the most to blame for Warlords of Draenor existing, which by itself earns him a high spot on this list. However, the main reason he’s this high is because of the sheer stupidity he displays after bringing Garrosh to Draenor.

                                                            oh no! suddenly i'm dead!

This man monologues at an extremely vengeful Garrosh about how he’s going to bring in multiple alternate dimension Hordes to fight the Legion back on MU Azeroth. Then he turns his back on Garrosh and, of course, immediately gets stabbed and killed.

WHY WOULD YOU THINK GARROSH WOULD NOT IMMEDIATELY KILL YOU IF YOU’VE MET HIM FOR EVEN FIVE MINUTES!!!! I don’t understand what Kairoz thought was going to happen! Garrosh has literally killed so many people zero hesitation! You’re standing there reciting a new plan to be heroic to this guy who famously just mingled with Old God Vibes. So you turn around and get immediately merc’d by him. Plan is terrible and doomed from the start. Prior folks on this list lost points because of situations where individuals acted unpredictably. This guy loses points because Garrosh acts entirely predictably.

3. Lord Blackmoore

The C.E.O. of Warcraft racism himself, Aedelas Blackmoore. This man masterminded the Orcish internment camps after the Second War so everyone could be racist with him. His other actions during this period are actually so heinous that I don’t like discussing them, but just know that he was always drunk and horrible to everyone (thankfully, WoW doesn’t include these types of topics anymore).

Specifically, this is the guy who found Thrall and “raised” him in a horrid, exploitative way to try and brainwash him. He did a bunch of awful shit to Thrall and people who were friends with Thrall. He eventually got what was coming to him, but he inflicted an entire generation of trauma on the Orcs.

Zero redeeming qualities, all bad qualities. Fuck Blackmoore to hell and back. This is the guy whose soul I would dust in the Maw if I found it. He is the highest-ranked mortal man on this list for good reason.

2. Loken

When I was putting this list together, I wondered if it would be fair to include cosmic figures such as Titan Keepers. I decided that since they identify as male, they count as Warcraft men. And thank god, because our top two worst men are both Titan Keepers.

Loken has directly caused such a significant amount of harm to many institutions that keep Azeroth functioning. But let’s back up to his original fuck up: Sif.

He was having an affair with his brother’s wife and then killed her on accident then lied about it!!!

You remember that trope of the kid who tells one lie at school and then has to tell another 12 lies to cover up that one lie? That’s Loken. He told his brother, Thorim, that Sif was killed by the storm giants, his allies. This caused a brief war between Thorim and the storm giants that Loken stopped with his soldiers from the forge of wills. Unknown to Loken, Yoggie had already infected that forge with the curse of flesh. That’s a big mistake!

Perhaps Loken’s worst sin is making me have to think about the mechanics of Titan Keepers doing the frickfrack. Why is that even in their programming.

                                                            YOU FUCKED MY WIFE??????

Thorim flees, Loken realizes he has to keep covering up because there’s a ton of cursed flesh soldiers and a dead Sif. This makes him support Yogg-Saron, kill Mimiron, jail Freya and Hodir, and strike a deal to imprison Odyn and steal the title of Prime Designate, all to cover up his errors caused by killing Sif. Iconic behavior honestly. Loken is my 2nd least favorite Warcraft man but I gotta commend how messy he is. Hooking up with your brother’s wife and decided to drag the entire planet into your affair. Period!

As a final measure of spite, Loken, as Prime Designate, had a code bound to his life to indicate the beginnings of planetary fatality with the Prime Designate’s death. So his final middle finger was to begin the reorigination paperwork. What a guy. Amazing how beings higher than mortals are capable of just as much shit behavior as them. But who could I like even less than Loken?

1. Odyn

ODYN IS THE WORST FUCKING GUY!!!

Odyn was the Prime Designate before Loken. He led the Titans’ forces against the Old Gods in ancient times and was so good at it that they gave him the title. However, where other Titan keepers received the lingering essence of the Pantheon after their demise, Odyn did not become infused with Aman’thul’s essence-Ra did (get fucked Odyn). He was like the military guy, but not the guy you give the nuclear codes to.

Odyn sucks. When mortals began emerging on Azeroth, his first instinct was “I should just kill them all right?” He would later shift to a more moderate opinion that we could be “useful if controlled.” To quote him, “Life is chaos. It must be controlled.” Yikes!

If you thought the other rewrites of history were bad, wait until you hear about Odyn’s. As you know, the Black Empire of the Old Gods governed Azeroth prior to the arrival of the Titans. Per Odyn, “all historical records documenting the advancements of the Black Empire are to be purged.” The age of misery under the reign of the Old Gods that we’ve known so well is simply an astronomical amount of propaganda ordered by Odyn. He continued on that every good thing that exists should be attributed to the Titans. Literally all of it. Odyn decided that any mortal being on Azeroth would only learn of a history where the Titans were their benevolent gods and he held the influence to make it a reality.

                                                              and your stupid beard too

You know the Dragon Aspects? The ones we all love who are literally just nice and care about Azeroth? Odyn hates them and thinks they shouldn’t be charged with anything important. He got so mad when the Aspects’ empowerment happened in spite of his “no” vote that he told the Keepers to fuck off, broke off a chunk of Ulduar, and raised it into the sky, what we now know as the Halls of Valor. Imagine being this guy. He didn’t want the dragons to have more power but enslaved a species to be his Thorignir anyways. Very cool. And the Halls of Valor are just a bunch of washed up war heroes drinking beer and fighting each other. It’s literally like a Warcraft frat house, I can smell the natty light from here.

It gets worse! Odyn, being the arrogant dumbass that he is, decided that he wanted an army of his own, hand selected by him, who would serve as superior defenders of Azeroth than the dragons. He decided “meh, I’m the best, I can break the laws of the universe” and began searching for ways to pop into the passage to the Shadowlands to yoink spirits of brave warriors before they settled into their afterlife. What a shock: the first batch of Vrykul he selected didn’t want to become Valarjar. When Odyn’s adoptive daughter, Helya, tried to talk him out of it, he instead forcibly made her the first val’kyr and commanded her to carry out the task.

                                                                LET HELYA KILL ODYN!!!!

Obviously Helya was pissed. I like to imagine that Odyn was surprised Pikachu face when Helya imprisoned him in the Halls. Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions! Odyn would go on to be a pompous asshole in WoW itself, coming off as pretty arrogant in Legion to flat out bordering on antagonistic in Dragonflight. My favorite part of 10.2 was definitely when Vyranoth went to Odyn to free the Thorignir from servitude and she froze Odyn in a cube and told him to shut up. Beautiful.

Odyn is by far my least favorite man in WoW and I hope and pray that I get to kill him during the saga.

Thanks for reading! Tweet me, dm me, email me with what you want for the next blog!

Fuck Odyn,

-Ily